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I just ordered the shirt that Dexter wears whenever he kills someone

For those who don’t watch Showtime’s very amazing show Dexter, it’s about a serial killer named Dexter who kills people that meet his strict code (murderers, rapists, etc.) It’s morbid and totally the best ever.

One detail that I love about the show is that every time Dexter murders someone, he wears the same shirt. I call it the kill shirt for obvious reasons, though other websites refer to it as the combat shirt, kill uniform, kill outfit, etc. While there isn’t any official name for it, it looks like this:

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Alternate title for this blog post: What do absentee ballots and the Dexter kill shirt have in common? They’re both in the mail.

That’s right—it’s election day. And yes—I just ordered the Dexter kill shirt (the color you’re looking for is “Army”). Okay, I admit, I have my own unique priorities in life. Sure, voting is important. But I think owning a kill shirt is equally more important.

I plan on wearing mine only when I’m angry. Eventually, people will notice this and talk about it when I’m not around. “You ever notice that Jesse wears the same shirt when he’s angry?” I realize that this plan may take years for people to catch on. And I’m okay with that.

If you plan on purchasing a kill shirt, don’t be fooled by those loose-fitting knock-offs.

This is a loose-fitting, cheap imitation kill shirt. More importantly, what sort of serial killer would print his name on his sleeve? The type that gets caught and goes to jail. This kill shirt is for amateurs.

This is a loose-fitting, cheap imitation kill shirt. More importantly, what sort of serial killer would print his name on his sleeve? The type that gets caught and goes to jail. This kill shirt is for amateurs.

The true kill shirt connoisseur will notice how the fitted style accentuates the figure, making it a perfect Halloween costume, conversation piece, or, I suppose, a nice warm shirt during the winter season.

The true kill shirt connoisseur will notice how the fitted style accentuates the figure, making it a perfect Halloween costume, conversation piece, or, I suppose, a nice warm shirt during the winter season.

This style of shirt is called a Henley (as opposed to a polo, a t-shirt, etc.) It’s a similar type of material to that of Long Johns thermal wear. For anyone wanting to know where they can order their very own kill shirt, American Apparel makes the exact shirt that Dexter wears, the color is Army.

This is THE shirt, ladies and gentlemen. How do I know? I work in Hollywood and I called up the costume designer. That’s how far I’m willing to go to make sure my kill shirt is authentic.